They should just send this to everyone that tries to use that printer.

… Arnold’s son was the real John Connor?

… it rained orange soda?

… MLK’s dream also included dinosaurs?

… you got paid “undertime”?

… “The Truman Show” is real … and it’s about you?

… Crystal Clear Pepsi was still around?

… the best things in life were for sale?

… zombies weren’t real?

… the Beatles really had to live together on a Yellow Submarine?

… every Wednesday became “Funday” and was not a workday?

… in Antarctica, they called badminton: “Football”?

That’d be awesome!

It is an undeniable truth that video games based on movies suck.

It all began with E.T. back in the 80’s. Considered the worst game in history, E.T. has an infamous history and legend of being destroyed.

And even as consoles improved, movie-based video games continued to lack any semblance of real entertainment value. And it’s probably because the stories were not made for the medium.

Now, I’d like to share a similar phenomenon, Literature in video games. Similar in nature to the movie game, let’s take a look at an American Classic in it’s newly created 16-bit format.

Presenting, The Great Gatsby Video Game. (Link below)

http://www.urlesque.com/2011/02/15/great-gatsby-nintendo-nes-game-rom/

NOTE: This game is brand new and created by a developer named Charlie Hoey at the Barbarian Group. The entertaining back story is false.

Dear Patrick on January 31,

Now, I know you think it’s going to be awesome to have the Super Bowl in Dallas, but here’s a heads up. Plus, you know those snow flurries expected for Monday night, well, let’s just say you should stock up on groceries before it’s too late.

Then when Super Bowl weekend arrives, I know you have a bunch of plans to go out and do some parties, etc. I think you should quell your expectations as to their awesomeness. And for what you’re willing to spend, you should definitely not get your hopes up.

As for the game itself. Cheer for the Packers. You’re mom’s from Wisconsin. You don’t have to explain your pick to anyone.

And I know you’re kind of excited about the Black Eyed Peas for the half-time show. Enjoy it, even if people talk crap later. You like the songs, you like flashing lights, you’ll like the show.

As far as commercials go, like always, it’ll be hit or miss. Go Daddy’s obligatory girls in skimpy clothes gets an odd twist, Coke does some fun stuff and a tiny Darth Vader will win America’s hearts. Motorola will slap the Apple iPad in the face and there’s plenty of lameness to go around with P. Diddy in a Mercedes spot and Eminem stop-motion animated for Lipton Iced Tea. I mean, come on. Only the Bud Bowl should use that animation style on Super Sunday.

Overall, just lower your expectations. You thought that having the game in your own back yard would make things different this year. But it won’t. You’ll enjoy it, but the sooner you the fact that you won’t take part of the festivities, the sooner you can make a snowman named Marley.

Sincerely,

Patrick on February 7